Release
by noonewillrecall
Summary: Dean/Castiel. Human AU. Dean doesn't do boyfriends. Castiel is his best friend and his rock.


Castiel Novak looked sluggishly into his bathroom mirror, debating whether to bother trying to do something with his hair. Not that it even mattered, it wasn't like today was the day Dean Winchester was going to turn around and say, "Oh hey Cas, I want you to be my boyfriend!" Castiel sighed and splashed cool water on his face in an attempt to battle his sleepy-ness.

Castiel worked teaching Geography at Kansas University, and despite being one of the younger professors; he was one of the most respected, and pretty much a genius. People would marvel at how smart he was and girls would swoon at his handsome looks with brains to match. Only Castiel wasn't interested in girls. More specifically, he wasn't interested in anyone expect Dean Winchester. Dean was his friend of 6 years now and they had grown incredibly close. They had first met at a Church picnic Castiel's mother had dragged him to, and as it turns out, Mary Winchester had also dragged her own sons along kicking and screaming. Dean was a few years younger and so opposite to Castiel that people would wonder why the hell they were friends in the first place, but they had bonded immediately and things went from there.

It was maybe 2 years ago that the fact he was hopelessly in love with his best friend had hit Castiel square in the face. Before you ask, then why did he not make a move? Dean was hardly a total homophobe, he was in fact 100% gay himself, he was not in denial and no he did not have a boyfriend. The frustrating problem was that Dean Winchester did not do boyfriends. He had made this perfectly clear to Castiel numerous times, whether it was through his endless stream of one night stands or his opinion on other peoples relationships. When their close friend and Castiel's cousin Gabriel had been cheated on by his girlfriend, Dean's insightful use of words had been. "_I don't get why people would want to be in a relationship, I mean look at the state of him Cas, it's just easier to be free and single._"

When Dean had told Castiel that his father John was having an affair with another woman and that his parents were getting a divorce, he had said…

"_Seriously Cas, I swear I'm never going to fall in love."_

"_Don't say that Dean, just because your parents…"_

"_No. I mean it; it's just not worth the hassle."_

"_But don't you ever think that one day you might fall in love by accident, that maybe you'd like to settle down?"_

"_Nah, don't get too close to anyone that's my motto, unless they are your family or friends."_

"_If that's how you feel Dean."_

"_It is. At least I've got you though Cas, I'm sure you won't let me die a lonely old man right?"_

"_Right."_

So yeah, Castiel knew there was no point throwing himself out there only to be rejected and have his heart broken, best just to live in happy denial and go on being friends with Dean, he'd take what he could get.

His thoughts were quickly interrupted by the roar of an engine through window on the street below, which could only be the sound of one car pulling up outside his apartment building. Pulling on his shoes and grabbing his jacket and bag, Castiel made his way downstairs to meet Dean. Dean worked at the local garage as a mechanic and would drop Castiel off at the University each morning on his way to work. Castiel had to hand it to him; he was damn good at what he did. Dean had always loved cars, his father John had taught him everything he knew, and for his 21st birthday had passed on his classic Chevrolet impala 67 to his son and Dean worshiped it.

Dean beamed at Castiel as he climbed into the passenger seat next to him. Castiel had couldn't help the little ghost of a smile that crossed his own lips despite his weary-ness, he was not a morning person, but somehow Dean always managed to make them seem brighter. Dean started the monstrous engine again and turned the radio on, some classic rock track blasting out of the speakers as he drove them along.

"Hey Cas! Been up all night grading papers again huh?"

"Hello Dean. Yes I have, you see the night before I was busy being dragged to a bar and got no work done at all. It would seem somebody is a bad influence on me."

Dean laughed at this; his green eye's sparkling with mirth.

"Woops! Well at least you've got it all done now right?"

Castiel smiled and rolled his eyes, he knew what was coming next.

"Yes Dean."

"Great, so you can come to the bar again with me tonight, it is a Friday after all."

"I suppose I have no choice."

Castiel would have no trouble admitting that he loved the gorgeous grin on that beautiful man's face.

"Awesome. I'll pick you up after work!"

They chatted the whole way to the university about everything and nothing. This is what Castiel loved most about Dean, despite how socially awkward Cas was around other people, Dean was so easy to talk to. He always managed to make Castiel laugh, every morning without fail, so that Cas would walk into work with a huge smile on his face and ready to start his day.

The day passed painfully slowly for Castiel, maybe because it was a Friday. More likely it had to do with the fact that he was counting down the hours until he saw Dean again. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with his friend lately as he knew it was a hard time for him. It was coming up on two years now. Two years since Dean's 15 year old brother Sam had gone missing at the age of just 13. Sam had gone to meet some friends at the local park, and never came back. The search for little Sammy wasn't forgotten, police were still on the lookout for any leads as to his whereabouts, it had been on the local news, in the papers, and flyers had been put up all over the place, but nobody had seen or heard a thing.

The news had devastated Dean, but he wouldn't give up, almost every weekend him and Castiel would go out searching for Sam, Dean had driven for hours upon hours before asking anyone who would give him any time. The police were starting to assume that Sam was no longer alive and were most likely now expecting to find a body if they found him at all. But Dean wouldn't give up; Castiel knew he would never give up. It was another thing he loved about him, and if Cas could be granted one wish, just one, it would be that Sam would be returned to Dean alive and well.

Finally Castiel finished with work and met Dean out front. He was surprised, however, when he saw that Dean wasn't wearing his usual trademark grin on his face. It was instead replaced with an angry scowl.

"Dean, what's the matter?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Dean…"

"Dammit Cas I said I don't want to talk about it, let's just go to this damn bar so I can get drunk."

Castiel didn't say another word, he knew it was best to let Dean open up to him first when he was ready and not to push him as he wasn't very good at talking about his emotions. He also knew that this probably wouldn't happen until after Dean had finished a few drinks.

Dean drove them to the bar in silence, once there he ordered them both a beer and some shots. Castiel didn't argue with the level of alcohol, he could hold his liquor. Instead he decided to distract Dean by talking about his day at work. Dean seemed to relax a little after a few drinks and Castiel's comforting gravelly rambling. But once Cas asked Dean how _his_ day at work was, his scowl returned with full force.

"Dean, please tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong."

"Is it Sammy?"

"For fucks sake Cas. No it's not Sam ok. You wanna know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! Bobby told me today that that _asshole_ has gotten his new girlfriend pregnant!"

Castiel didn't need to ask what Dean was talking about, so he let him continue his angry rant.

"I mean, he won't even bother to come out with me to help look for the kid he has already! And he's going and having kids with someone else! It's like he doesn't even care Sammy's gone! Mom is gonna be so upset when she finds out, she's been a mess since he left her and then Sam going missing… urgh, Cas, I swear sometimes it's like you're the only person keeping me sane!"

Dean downed another two shots and ordered another beer. Castiel still didn't argue. He knew Dean was going down a dangerous road if he had too much to drink, but Cas knew when to stop him and he was glad he was there with him to make sure he was okay.

"Dean, I'm not going to tell you that it's okay because I know it's not. But what I will say is this; your Dad loves Sammy, whether you believe it or not, I'm sure that no other child would be able to replace him in his heart. And Mary is lucky to have a son like you, I'm sure that no matter what pain she feels she is glad to have you in her life to make each day better than the next. And if there is a God in this universe, you can bet that he will give Sam back to you happy and healthy or so help me I will find a way to heaven to kick his ass."

Dean let out a small smile and this and Castiel felt triumphant, if he could make each day for Dean more bearable then he wasn't going anywhere. He had already decided to make it his life's mission to see Dean truly happy again one day.

"Thanks Cas."

"It's okay Dean. I want you to know that I'm always going to be here. I promise you that."

The expression of Dean's face was unreadable, but it could be compared to something like awe, he shook himself out of it quickly and smiled again. After that things became much easier, they drank some more and talked the night away, about more cheerful thing's, carefully avoiding the sadness lurking in the back of Dean's eyes. Cas was happy to even hear Dean laugh once or twice.

At about midnight Castiel decided that Dean had had enough to drink. He called for a cab on his cell phone and hauled Dean up and out into the cool night air, Dean leaning heavily into him, arm flung around his shoulder and stumbling slightly.

"Come on, you can stay on my couch, we can come get your car in the morning."

Dean mumbled something about his "baby" being stolen and "there'd be hell to pay" before sliding ungracefully into the taxi followed by Cas. Once at Castiel's apartment they stumbled, Dean supported mostly by Cas, up the stairs to the front door. Dean seemed to be unable to stop rambling the whole way.

"M'sserious Cas, s'like you're the only one who gives a shit, I mean dunno what I'd do without you. You always been there for me ya know?"

Once Castiel managed to open the door to his apartment and drag Dean inside he decided it was best that Dean sleep in his bed considering the state Dean was in. He took Dean into his room and sat him down on the bed. He removed his own jacket, shoes and socks, discarding them in the corner, too drunk himself to be bothered with tidying.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

Cas fortunately managed to get rid of Dean's jacket and shirt with minimal effort before Dean flopped backwards on the bed giggling. Cas smiled to himself as he took Dean's shoes and socks off, he had to admit that drunk Dean was adorable. He carefully undid Dean's belt and jeans, listening to the sounds of Deans slow heavy breathing, he knew he was getting quite sleepy.

"Come on mister, lift your hips then you can get under the covers."

Dean did as he was told and helped Cas shimmy his jeans down his legs then shuffled and kicked clumsily beneath the duvet and let his head fall into one of the soft pillows. Cas knew it wasn't really a problem sharing a bed with Dean, they had done it plenty of times before, crashing out after drunken nights or sometimes just because they both agreed it was more comfortable than one of them sleeping on the lumpy couch. Cas slipped down to his own boxers and climbed in next to Dean. He always slept on his back, simply because he couldn't get comfy in any other position. He was pretty tired himself, the warm tingle and buzz of alcohol still flowing around his system.

As soon as he got into the bed Dean snuggled closer to him, his head almost buried in his shoulder and one arm flopped casually across his chest. It was no big deal that they maybe cuddled once and a while. Castiel figured Dean enjoyed the comfort, it was just what he needed sometimes and they were mature enough not to let it become a big deal. It was just something they did and Castiel relished it. In fact he lived for moments like it.

Dean began to slur sleepily next to him.

"Seriously Cas, you're great, best goddamn friend ever, seriously you're like my rock ya know, seriously, I wasn't sure I could get through today. I mean it, would never get bored of you man, always there. Seriously."

"Thank-you Dean, now shut up. And stop saying seriously."

"Thanks Cas."

"Go to sleep Dean."

Dean chuckled and went quiet. For a few minutes there was nothing but silence, slow rhythmic breathing and Dean's warm hand resting just below Castiel's collar bone. Castiel relaxed and began to be lulled into sleep. That is until he felt Deans head burrowing into his neck and soft lips gently gliding over his skin. His breathing began to speed up and his body grow hotter as Dean sighed and blew a puff of air across his skin.

"Dean?"

To Castiel's surprise, Dean began to shyly place little wet kisses up his neck and across to his jaw before his lips found Castiel's in the dark and pressed firmly against them. For a moment Cas was in complete shock, confusion pumping frantically through his veins along with arousal. He eventually managed to kiss back and was shocked even more to hear Dean's small moan as their tongues danced together, soft and warm and wet and _fantastic_ until they parted for air.

"Dean what are you…"

He was shushed instantly by Dean's tongue licking its way across his chest until it found a nipple to suck, Castiel's breath hitched and a hand flew out to grip Dean's shoulder hard enough to bruise.

He wasn't sure where Dean was going with this and a panicked part of his brain told him that this wasn't what he wanted He didn't want a drunken fumble in the dark because Dean was hurting and needed some comfort or release, or just _something. _It was a part of his head that was also screaming at him that this could potentially ruin their friendship. But Castiel locked those thoughts up in a little box because, one: he was enjoying the feeling of Dean's mouth so much, and he knew this was probably the only chance he would get to do this and two: he knew deep down that nothing could really ruin what he and Dean had. They'd forget about it, move on and not mention it again, and things would be back to normal, their relationship was too strong to be destroyed by something like this and they wouldn't let it happen. Although Castiel felt quiet saddened that this was probably all he would ever get, that he wanted more than just a quick fuck but Dean couldn't give him that, he couldn't deny that he wanted this.

Meanwhile during Castiel's inner turmoil, Dean's clever mouth had travelled down under the bed sheets and his hands where removing Castiel's boxers with eagerness, his tongue never leaving skin.

"Stop thinking, _please_ Cas." Dean murmured into his hip-bone, so quietly that Castiel almost didn't hear it.

His brain promptly shut up when Dean's lips closed around his erection and both of them groaned in unison. Castiel was burning with arousal, arching up into the wet heat of Dean's mouth. He ripped the sheets off of them both to gaze heavily down at green eyes which flicked up to meet his own. His sight had grown used to the darkness now and he couldn't tear his eyes away from his cock disappearing into those delicious pink lips, glistening with saliva and his pre-come. They both knew that there would be no more talking, there was nothing more to say, both were past the point of reason and it seemed that their bodies knew each-other just as well as their minds did.

Castiel's head tipped back onto the pillow, his hands flying into dirty blonde hair, eye's finally slamming shut as the heat became unbearable. There was a deep ache inside of him, he was burning in places which needed to be reached or he thought he might explode with urgency; he needed more, so much more. He pushed his hips up hard, almost knocking Dean off of him, his mouth leaving his cock. Castiel's hands pushed Dean's head between his legs lower and lower. Thankfully Dean seemed to get the message, his breath coming out in short pants, so hot that Cas thought it would singe the skin of his inner thighs. Dean began to kiss, lick and bite the skin there, teasing Castiel mercilessly.

Castiel brought his knees up and parted his legs, not particularly caring if he looked like a whore in that moment, he just wanted Dean to get on with it before he died of frustration. He lifted his head a little to get a better view as he felt Dean smirk against his thigh. It dropped back again and he moaned loudly as Dean parted him and began to drag and rub his tongue torturously slowly across his opening. After what felt like hours of Dean rimming him until he couldn't possibly even think any more, Castiel growled in frustration and began to thrust down to meet Dean's mouth, desperately trying to reach places that couldn't possibly be reached with just tongue. Dean chuckled lowly and moved his mouth away; looking hotly up into indigo eyes as he unceremoniously shoved two fingers past Castiel's lips. Cas panted harshly through his nose as he sucked on Dean's fingers, chest rising and falling rapidly.

Dean was obviously done messing around when he pulled his fingers away and swiftly pushed two digits into Castiel at once. Cas moaned at the intrusion, it always felt strange at first but he could take it. It wasn't like he'd never done this before and Dean certainly knew what he was doing as he twisted and carefully began scissoring his fingers. When Cas began gasping and pushing back down onto his fingers, Dean was satisfied he was ready. He pulled out and hurriedly rid himself of his boxers.

Cas watched fondly as Dean reached on the floor for his jeans and fumbled around with his wallet looking for a condom. Castiel was delighted when Dean finally managed to find and roll on the protection and then spat into his hand. Dean gasped in relief as he finally touched his erection and slowly coated it with his own spit. Castiel didn't care if it was drunken and messy, it was _Dean_ and he moaned at the sight, arching upwards in anticipation.

Dean's expression grew dark and he suddenly grabbed Castiel's hips tightly, moving him quickly into position. He lifted one of Castiel's legs onto his shoulder before pushing into him gently. Castiel felt his heart clench at the thought of Dean being so careful with him.

"Fuck! _Cas_…"

Dean began to move and there wasn't much after that apart from frantic thrusting, sweating skin sliding together, hands gripping and nails biting into skin. Castiel could feel the beginnings of his orgasm building, scorching in his groin and pushing for release. Dean hitched Cas up a little and managed to hit in all the right places.

"Ah! _Dean_… _oh_…"

When Dean began to stroke Castiel's cock rhythmicall, Castiel was done, letting out an almighty groan his entire body spasmed and clenched as he came hard across his stomach, the only thoughts left in his head, _Dean, Dean, Dean_.

Dean watched with hungry eyes, panting out a hitched moan and speeding up his hips. Castiel's leg fell off of Dean's shoulder in exhaustion and Dean buckled forward, Cas gasping as his sensitive body was forced hard into the mattress over and over. Dean grabbed Castiel's messy hair, yanking him in for a clash of teeth and tongue and lips as he lost all rhythm and released into the condom, riding out waves of his own orgasm.

Dean pulled out slowly with a wrecked sob and collapsed down on the bed next to Castiel. Both men fell asleep almost instantly with the feeling of post orgasmic bliss and the slowly fading thrum of alcohol in their bodies.

The first time Castiel woke he felt like someone had hit him over the head repeatedly with a bat. Dean had snuggled around him during the night, one leg and arm flopped over Castiel's legs and chest, snoring softly. Cas didn't have the energy in him to move or think about the nights previous events and his hangover was being a bitch, so he swiftly went back to sleep.

The second time he woke it was to the sound of Dean shuffling around his room, picking up discarded clothes as we went and hopping around pulling on socks. Castiel sat up slowly and groaned, the pain in his head had eased to a dull throb but he still felt like death.

"Dean?"

"Oh hey, morning Cas."

Dean sat on the edge of Castiel's bed to put on his shoes, once they were on he sat up and smoothed a hand through his hair. He didn't once meet Castiel's eyes. An awkward silence fell between them and Castiel shifted uncomfortably in bed, sitting up a little straighter.

There was no denying what had happened the night before if the discarded condom on the floor and the ache in Castiel's ass was anything to go by, but both seemed nervous to approach the subject. Like Castiel had expected anything else. Dean sighed and stood up.

"So I'm gonna go get my car then head home, thanks for letting me stay, I'll call you later?"

"Sure, okay Dean."

Castiel tried to sound as casual as possible, despite the sinking in his heart. Obviously he was right in thinking that Dean wouldn't want to bring up what had happened and it was best they just move past it. Dean walked over to the bedroom door then stopped as if he was going to turn back or say something else, but then he quickly left the room and Castiel was left with the sound of the front door shutting ringing in his ears.

Castiel spent the majority of the morning in bed nursing his hangover and didn't rise until mid-afternoon. After he showered, shaved and had something to eat he felt a little more human and sat down to watch TV. He pulled his cell phone out to check his messages. He had one voicemail from Dean.

"_Uh… hey Cas… listen, I feel real bad about just running off this morning. I was just worried about the car ya know? But um, I figure we need to talk. Can you come over later around six? I'll order us take-out or something. Just… yeah… please come."_

Castiel smiled at Dean's awkwardness. He had expected to feel resentful or bitter about what had happened, but now he had had time to think,he just felt grateful, a warm feeling spread through his body whenever he thought about it. He knew it wasn't all Dean's fault, and he had gradually accepted as the day went on that it was no big deal, they had sex and that was it, he would get over it and go back to just being happy that Dean was in his life at all.

He showed up on Dean's doorstep at 5:45. Dean smiled when he opened the door; he let Castiel in and gave him a beer. After a few awkward moments in silence, both sitting on the couch, a safe distance apart of course, Dean began to ramble.

"Fuck it, Cas I'm so sorry, I was drunk and wasn't thinking straight, I can't lose you Cas and I shouldn't of taken advantage of you like that."

"How exactly did you take advantage Dean, you were far more drunk than I was. I should be apologising, it wasn't your entire fault."

"I know but… shit... I guess I kinda knew that you liked me right, and not just in the friendly way, I mean, I've seen the way you look at me sometimes and now I feel like I've fucked with your head."

Castiel was stunned, he had no idea that Dean had known, was he really that obvious? He had no idea what to say.

"Cas… please… say something."

"I don't know what to say… this is… awkward."

"Fuck! I've fucked up everything! Just couldn't help myself, couldn't keep it in my pants, as usual. Way to go Dean Winchester."

"Dean, stop. You haven't ruined anything okay. Yes, I like you as more than a friend, I think I always have, but that doesn't change anything. I didn't expect anything more from you when we had sex last night, I know you can't give me what I want and that's okay. I'm just as much at fault here."

"I don't deserve you Cas."

"Shut up Dean, stop assuming you don't deserve anything, you deserve every good thing that you have and more, and I don't expect you to change just for me."

"But I want to change."

"What?"

"Jesus Cas, you weren't just another fuck to me okay? I need you to know that before I say anything else. You're special to me, you must know that by now, and fuck I just, I don't know what to do because I'm crap at this, I've never done this before, I've never _wanted_ this before."

"What are you trying to say Dean?"

"I want… I want you."

Castiel's heart almost stopped. His breathing sped up as Dean continued to talk.

"I guess I'm trying to say that I want to try this… to try us you know? Like a proper couple maybe? I mean… that is if you want that?" Dean bit his bottom lip nervously. Castiel let out a breath of air he didn't realise he was holding in.

"I… uh… _yes_, yes I do."

Dean grinned and lent in to hug Castiel, or perhaps to kiss him, Cas wasn't sure. But before he could, Castiel held a hand up to halt him.

"Wait Dean, I just need to know something. If we do this and it goes wrong, I need to know that I'm not going to lose you, I don't think I could deal with that."

Dean smiled fondly and raised his hand to slowly stroke Castiel's cheek with his thumb.

"I promise. I'll always be your friend Cas, no matter what."

Castiel then discovered that it was indeed a kiss Dean had been leaning in for. He couldn't help the feeling of utter joy that filled him as his tongue tangled with his best friends and well, now lover.

Unfortunately they were interrupted by a loud knock at Dean's door. They pulled apart, breathing deeply, forehead resting against forehead for a moment until Dean was forced to go and answer the knocking. Castiel wasn't sure why, but he felt compelled to follow behind Dean as he made his way to the door.

When it opened, Castiel couldn't quite believe his eyes.

The boy that stood before them had grown at least three inches taller, he was extremely skinny and his floppy brown hair now reached his shoulders, but he was un-mistakable.

Dean's eye's widened with shock.

"_Sammy?_"

The boy grinned shyly.

"Hi Dean."


End file.
